Listen like a mirror.


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Listening skills for parents.
Listen like a mirror.

An easy way to learn to  listen well to your children is to listen like a mirror.  Just keep reflecting back what you just heard or saw or what you think your child is feeling.  If you are wrong they will correct you.  This is hard to do!  It’s so easy to want to analyze, or give advice or sympathy or suggest solutions to the problem.  If you can concentrate on listening in this way long enough and consistently enough, so your child can trust it, you will find out important information.  The trouble is you can’t do this well,  if you are not in your calm, strong center.  Your mind will start working on it.  You will start feeling sorry for them, or frustrated with them, or even angry with them,  or your self image as a parent might be threatened in some way, so you want to fix the problem. Instead, just think: “I am like a mirror now.” Then they will feel heard and calm down.  Later, after you find out what’s really going on, you can help them solve the problem and learn the lesson or skill they need.

Who listens to YOU like a mirror?  Ask someone you trust to listen to you in this way, then you will learn how good it feels to your kids.


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