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Let emotion out in good ways.

Feel like yelling?

Do you ever yell at your kids?  I did, when I was not coping well with my life.  I was like a little tea pot - internal “water” + unexpressed “fire” = “steam” that blows the whistle!  Then we moved and the house next door was occupied by a father who yelled loudly at his family.  He was a reflection that was not wasted on me.  I never yelled again. I was ready to stop that habit, which was a damaging waste of energy. I learned there were better ways to get my points acrosss – To be heard.  In fact when I yelled I was never heard – Just tuned out.  I learned to pause, breathe, and speak clearly and dispassionately about what I wanted from my kids.  Some things were negotiable, some things were not.  I gave choices – Both of which were acceptable to me.  Then I focussed on what my action would be, if a choice was not chosen.  The kids helped decide what that action would be. That way the kids were choosing the consequence by their decision to not choose to get the task done.  No need to yell – Just follow through.  It was much easier to do this as I took better and better care of my own needs.

Do you sometimes yell, when you are tired, frustrated, fearful, or in some other physical or emotional pain?

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